


And When You Smile, the Whole World Stops and Stares For A While (Or Maybe It's Just Me)

by maraudquxxrs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Character, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Teddy Lupin, Pansexual Character, long term crush, nonbinary with they/them pronouns, signs of depression that aren't diagnosed or adressed, teenage crush turns late twenties relationship, there is a signifigant age gap but they're 28 and 35
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22191151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudquxxrs/pseuds/maraudquxxrs
Summary: James is 28 and has been in love with Teddy since he was 15, but the crush has been affecting him pretty badly lately. Teddy, who only just figured out about their crush on James in the past 3 years wishes James would stop pushing them away. They figure it out in the end.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 87





	And When You Smile, the Whole World Stops and Stares For A While (Or Maybe It's Just Me)

James and Roxy cleared the last of the tables, wiped the counter, and swept up the floor of the diner before finally sitting down after a long day at work. It was Sunday, which meant Roxy helped with the rush of people who came fo half-price food and it seemed like even more people had come today. They were exhausted.

Roxy got up to fix herself a plate of food from what was leftover from the day, and then fixed one for James as well, knowing that he would forgo eating if she didn’t to go home to pass out on his couch, and then sat back down again to start their weekly catch-up of what was going on in their lives.

“Rosie was telling me that the tabloids spotted you leaving a bar with a brunette last weekend, but that the pictures were blurry and she didn’t believe it. Care to confirm or deny,” she asked.

James rolled his eyes. “Sorry to disappoint but the tabloids were wrong yet again. I haven’t even been to a bar in weeks,” he responded, looking exhausted as he spoke. He began to eat the cold fish and chips on his plate but Roxy could tell he was only doing it to keep her from bugging him about it.

“James, I know that you like -”

“Their smile ruins me, Roxy. Have I ever told you that? They can just smile in my direction and I’ll be a mushy wreck,” James said, and then continued, “Whenever Teddy comes in here, they flash me that toothy smile of theirs and every single time, I get the next three orders wrong, because I can’t stop thinking of them.”

“Jamie. You have to tell Teddy.”

“I can’t tell Teddy I love them.”

“But -”

“Stop.”

* * *

Teddy had decided to come to Lumos for dinner in a sudden need to see James. That had been happening a lot lately. Thankfully, Jamie always gave them a discount or else they wouldn’t be able to afford their pathetic excuse to see the guy that they had only recently realized they were irreversibly in love with.

That wasn’t the only reason they went of course. The food was amazing and Teddy would never turn it down. But they also had been noticing a change in James lately. He always looked exhausted. He always looked sad. Teddy hated it.

This particular night, Teddy decided to stay until closing. They wanted to talk to James about whatever was going on, offer some help. They almost regretted that decision when James realized that they were the only one left in the restaurant.

“Go home, Teddy,” James said, sound a smidge annoyed, “I know you love the food, but I love being able to close up at some point.”

“And I love not seeing you like this, so I guess we’re both going to be unhappy,” Teddy replied. “You’ve been looking more and more depressed for weeks. You barely look alive.”

“And you’ve been coming here nearly every day for weeks. I didn’t see you this much when we lived together. Now, are we going to continue updating each other on each other’s lives or can I escort you out now,” James asked, even more irritated than before.

“Or you could update me on your life. Why are you being such a prick to me? I just wanted to check up on you,” Teddy said.

“Maybe I don’t want you to check up on me. Maybe I don’t want to see you at all because every time you come in, I can’t fucking think straight. Maybe the reason I look like this is because I can’t get you and your stupid fucking brain-melting smile out of my mind. Ever think of that,” James yelled at him, getting redder and redder as he kept on talking. “Now please, just leave. I want to be alone.”

Teddy’s breath stopped. They couldn’t believe it. James liked them! Well, he hadn’t said it in those words, but Teddy was sure that “brain-melting smile” didn’t mean that James hated them.

“You know Jamie, you could have just told me,” Teddy said, saying the words slowly, testing the obviously boiling waters.

“I’m not exactly up for being rejected,” James said, “and I told you to leave.” He started wiping up the counters, pointedly not looking in Teddy’s direction. Teddy couldn’t help but feel hurt.

“I’m not rejecting you, Jamie,” Teddy whispered.

James looked up, shocked. “What?”

* * *

“Roxy, please. Open the diner for me. I can’t even think about getting up without vomiting,” James pleaded with his cousin.

“What don’t you get about ‘I’m training to be a healer and have to go to class’? Call River! She actually works at the diner,” Roxy replied in a rush, obviously exasperated with him.

James rolled his eyes and pretended he hadn’t forgotten that their cousin was one of the waitresses. He just felt so icky. Teddy had left the night before, right after saying what they had said and James hadn’t been able to fall asleep all night. All he could do was think about all the things that Teddy could have meant.

Because they obviously didn’t mean that they liked him.

James made the call to River, and once he knew the diner would be safe without him, curled into a ball on his bed. His stomach was churning. He felt so sick. But he wasn’t sick - not exactly. He just couldn’t believe that he had let Teddy leave the night before. He couldn’t believe a word of what he had said, it was all so mean…

He rolled over and pawed throughout his bed, looking for the phone that he had just thrown into his mess of blankets. He found it and speed-dialed 6, regretting it even as it was happening. But he had to do this. He needed to see that smile that used to be able to fix any mood. He needed to see Teddy.

“Jamie? Are you okay?”

“Please come over. I need you.”

“Okay, okay, just let me text Luna.”

“…”

“…”

“Teddy?”

“Yeah, Jamie?”

“I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be right over.”

* * *

James heard the knock at the door, Teddy’s signature knock that went one knock, then another knock, then three knocks in quick succession, and only then did he get out of bed.

He was wearing the same clothes that he had been wearing last night, and he felt cruddy, but when he opened the door to see Teddy, he didn’t care how bad he felt. He rushed into their arms, hugging them as tightly as he possibly could without breaking bones. “I’m so glad you’re here,” James said into Teddy’s chest.

“Why am I here,” Teddy asked when James finally let them go. They looked confused, worried, upset, and even a little mad.

James took a deep breath. He shuffled around a bit, and his hands were shaking so much that if he was holding anything, he would have dropped it. Finally, he looked at Teddy, and whispered, “I’m in love with you. I have been since I was 15. But recently, it’s gotten worse. That’s why I wanted you to leave last night. Because every time I see you, it gets harder to pretend that I don’t love you.”

Teddy’s eyes widened. They breathed out the word _shit_ , and followed it up with, “Thirteen years? You’ve been in love with me for thirteen years and you never told me? What the fuck James?”

James closed his eyes and breathed. He tried not to cry about the fact that Teddy was mad at him. “How long have you been in love with me Teddy? I know that you are, you basically admitted it last night, but how long? Not since I was fifteen, right?”

Teddy looked at him. They sat down. They got back up. They paced around the living room, arms behind their back. They didn’t say anything for a few minutes. “Three years,” they finally replied.

“Why didn’t you tell me,” James asked calmly.

“I didn’t want to risk losing you,” Teddy said softly, now standing right in front of James, “and I guess that’s the reason you didn’t tell me either, isn’t it?” They took James’ hands into their own.

James looked at their hands, intertwined, and said, “I was a fifteen-year-old boy in love with someone seven years older than me who I had known since I was literally in the womb. It didn’t matter that you had a charming, genuine smile that I wanted to kiss so fucking badly or that I loved talking to you more than anyone else or that my heart skipped a beat every time I saw you. What mattered was that I had everything to lose by telling you.”

And then Teddy kissed him, and he felt like his body was rearranging itself to fit against Teddy’s body perfectly. He felt like his heart was bursting out of his body, like his soul had ascended into whatever afterlife there was.

_“What a way to die.”_

* * *

Teddy couldn’t believe it. They were _kissing_ James. No, no… they were kissing _James_. They had wanted this for three long fucking years and they couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

James pulled away, looking up at them, meeting their eyes. “Teddy,” James started slowly and they nodded for him to go on. “I need to know if you’re serious about this. Because if you aren’t and we do this and you break my heart in a few months or a few years, I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. So. Please…”

“I’m all in, Jamie,” Teddy said, pulling him closer, “I’m in this for the rest of my life. That’s how serious I am.” James smiled as he pulled Teddy down into another kiss, and when they pulled away, they smiled back, so in love with the boy in front of them.

James' eyes watered with happy tears as he asked, “Have I ever told you that your smile absolutely ruins me?”

“No, you haven’t. But I know the feeling.”

They both smiled as they kissed again.


End file.
